…I don’t know Sir, I only laid the table.”
Hello again everybody! Just five days to go now until I touch base in Germany, yet against all odds it doesn’t seem as if there will be a sprint to the finish line to tick off my pre-departure check list after all. It all kicked off on Monday morning when I came downstairs and noticed that mum had kindly composed a list of what I needed to do ASAP, and made it clear that if I had not started on it by the time that she was back from work, then there would be trouble! However, I find myself this Friday afternoon quietly confident and relaxed (possibly unwisely), two eyes fixed on the laptop, two ears tuned into Jeremy Kyle, and here is how it happened:
Spurred on by mum’s ultimatum (fear rather than inspiration), Amazon was my first port of call. 10 minutes later, feeling rather pleased with myself after ordering two modestly priced continental adapters, my heart sank at the prospect of paying an arm and a leg (bad news for a waiter) for German health insurance. Despite my initial worries, I managed to purchase comprehensive travel and health insurance from Endsleigh for a grand total of £153! I was left with a slight sour taste however upon discovering that moth-eaten clothes were not covered under the insurance policy (I could really have done with that), but nevertheless I’d definitely recommend Endsleigh to other language students. Sorting out bank business was surprisingly not as boring or protracted as I’d envisaged; a bit like the dentist, it was painful but necessary. Lastly I made one final trip to the library to photocopy important documents such as my driver’s license, passport, and my bum (for identification purposes). Come Monday evening, I was all sorted!
In between all of the fun and games I’ve been visiting both old and new friends alike. Last weekend was spent with two friends all the way down in Plymouth who have an irresistible puppy Labrador with an insatiable appetite, which includes: dirty socks, table mats, metal forks, window sills, human fingers, and fajitas. Although I spent half of ‘Match of the Day’ wrestling with Bonnie (the dog), and trying to prevent her from eating me alive, she was pretty damn cute! Martyn and Mary took me along to their church BBQ on Dartmoor on the Sunday which was very tasty, however quite disturbing at the same time. Whilst eating the church congregation couldn’t help but notice an old-ish looking man in the nearby river, wearing two ladies bikinis (one white, one pink) and a pair of shin pads, “building a dam” as he later informed us. Other memorable events included visiting a ‘Maize Maze‘ in which we were stuck for two hours (well worth visiting if you fancy a 6-hour train journey), and meeting Martyn’s plumber called Barry, whose country accent was great. Most delightful of all mind you, was sitting next to a homeless guy (either permanently smiley or drunk) on the train home whom I lent my I-Pod. I noticed that he was listening to a combination of The Beatles, R.E.M. and Squeeze, yet persisted in singing (very loudly) the lyrics to ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone,’ which disturbed most of the other passengers.
Only yesterday I finished a 4 day long goodbye to Grace and Tessa Scott (I’m a man of many words), which involved a wicked trip to Leeds Castle. Apart from Leeds Castle being absolutely stunning, we acquired ourselves annual free entry if anybody else is ever interested in going?! The only rocky moment that day was on the journey home when I sneakily switched the Sat-Nav language to German, which understandably Grace couldn’t understand, but more worryingly, nor could I! Eventually the Sat-Nav began to sound a bit like a broken record, as it just seemed to repeat ‘Gehen Sie geradeaus über den Kreisverkehr, zweite Ausfahrt’ (Cross the roundabout, second exit), even if we were at a T-Junction or in a car park.
Despite the fiasco on the roundabout, my student loan finally came through! That definitely cleared out the rugby blues after England scraped a narrow victory against Argentina. How Johnny Wilkinson missed five straight kicks is beyond me, either he needs to book an appointment at Specsavers or he accidentally wore a pair of flippers during the game. On the subject of rugby, whilst reading on the DLR about the England players’ wild night out in New Zealand at a ‘midget party,’ I asked myself the question, what does Zara Phillips see in Mike Tindall? I mean I know that the Royal Family’s a bit odd, but if I was a girl then my ideal man wouldn’t be a 6 ft monster with a head as bald as a hard boiled egg and a fetish for midgets. No offence Mike! Good luck for the next game mate, no hard feelings.
And finally, the other day I was left feeling a little bit rueful that I won’t be spending my year abroad in Sweden. After reading about the drunken Elk that got stuck in a tree, I came to the conclusion that I wouldn’t mind spending 8 months ‘Elk watching,’ in a bid to see one get drunk on fermenting apples. Anyway, a big thank you to my family and Grace and friends for all the encouragement and help since my last entry, it’s all very much appreciated!